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Whore Of The World

Does A Women's Past Matter? More than you think! From gals who like to party hard to 35 year old single women still thinking they are "young" and can get a husband. Read on! This blog is a wake up call to millions of men who need to see between the lines--and always judge a women by her past!!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

"Last night I went on a date with someone I promised myself I would never go on a date: a lawyer".

Now don't get me wrong, I work with lawyers but my "whore of the world" radar always told me that the following types of women should NEVER ever be dated. The following list is not in a particular order:

lawyers
police officers
women who want to be executives in companies
actresses
models (unless they are 18 and you break them in and accompany them to all
photo shoots and auditions)
pharmaceutical sales reps (do you want to date someone who is hanging out with single doctors all day)
doctors (unless they were with kids ONLY)

Aquariuses
Geminis
Libras
Capricorns

The list goes on and on

If this lawyer, however, worked for a non-profit organization to help people and was making $36,000 a year, then it would be okay to date her since she isn't doing this to be a power hungry money grubber who'd make you sign a pre-nup.

No, this was the kind of female lawyer that if you were to put on a pair of blindfolds and feel under the table, you'd think you were on a date with your high school football coach.

The first sign I had that this was a possible "whore of the world" was that she lived in the City, yet wanted me to pick her up from her parent's house in the suburbs. I really was curious why a 28 year old gal wanted me to be introduced to her parents on our first date. Off course I knew the real reason was she wanted to give me the impression of a "good girl" so I decided to put on my sucker hat and go with it.

As I rang her door bell, the first thing that greeted me was the loud barking of a dog. The door opens and its her mother trying top shoo away an Afghan Sheepdog.

Then her father steps into the picture and I was looking for a hint of a smile, but I saw right there and then that my future date must hate him secretly as much as I did. Which means daddy issues. Which means lots of secret blow jobs in high school in parked cars that I will never know about and she will never count. Which further means, lots of sex in college and even worse, college professors in law school. Yikes!

So I went inside and my date was nowhere in sight, apart from me hearing her voice "I'll be ready in two minutes". So I went inside and her mother and father grilled me with the kind of questions usually saved when you get engaged to someone. Off course daddy's little girl was 28, so in their minds, I was the one after three minutes.

45 minutes later, my "whore of the world" emerged from her old bedroom. God, I am scared to think how many filthy sexual acts she must have done in her bedroom when her parents were at Church--or At synagogue cause she was a Jew broad. A member of the tribe. An heiress to King David. Well, not--

So my princess and I parted ways with her parents and we got in my car. Well, first I opened the door for her and she went inside . Do you think Ms. JAP leaned over and unlocked the door on my side for me to get in? Nope. She's history. She's gone. Ring, ring. "Whore Of The World"

So the second I turn on the ignition. The cell phone goes off. Not mine. But hers. That pig. See, "whore of the world" is a criminal lawyer and she needs to take collect calls from a few rapists and armed robbers from county jail. Very spiritual vibes here. After about 40 minutes of driving to our restaurant, she finally turns the cell off and says "sorry. business. I promise I will direct all my energies to you"

At the restaurant we are looking at our menus and I ask what she wants. She says she is undecided, but as soon as our waitress comes over she decides to order the shrimp cobb salad, Chilean sea bass, and off course she orders a bottle of wine. A bottle of wine. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not cheap. But I have known her for a total of 45 minutes, actually 5 since I got to know her prison bitches on the drive over more than her. But if she was a good groomed classy down to earth gal, a glass of wine would do. Perhaps iced tea would even be better. But a bottle of very expensive wine. She has no clue what I am plotting against her at this point.

So I try to have a conversation with her, wine comes in, she downs it like apple juice (Note: women who have a high tolerance to alcohol are usually ex-sorority sluts or went on a lot of vacations to Mexico with their boyfriends where they drank mimosas and fucked liked rabbits and you'll never know about this unless you dig deep).

We talk about everything and nothing since I try to ask her what her favorite movie is, ADD dunce that she is switches the conversation to how she won some domestic battery case.

So I waited until "whore of the world" was a little buzzed and then I went in for the kill. "Do you think a person's past matters" I ask her.

She was a little dazed and said "what do you mean". I said using my refined Jedi mind trick to make it sound like it was all about me and not her" Would you date a guy who slept with a lot of women?" She said, "Well, what do you think is a lot".

"Whore Of the World" , if she was a good girl, should have said--"hell no", instead she referenced her own subconscious mind that gave her flashbacks to her numerous partners.

I said "Well--personally to me it doesn't matter, but a high number is fifty or sixty women" Then "whore of the world" said "hmm. That's not a lot. I mean, from 'personal' experience I really dont think numbers matter. All that matters is that you are with some one today and that's it"/

I couldn't wait for the check to come fast enough. As it did, a good girl would at least offer to pay knowing that I would. "Whore of the World" didn't even bother and watched me calculate the tip.

As I dropped her in front of her condo and not her parent's house, I lied to her and said " I had a great time we should do this again". She said she would love to see me next week but she need to check her schedule.

We hugged and she left. Little did she know that I plotted against her to never see her again. And guys, if any girl or women tells you she needs to check her schedule, that's a "whore of the world". A good girl would just say "Sure, how about Friday".

See "checking schedule" means she has 6 other dates, friends with favors, or after work cocktail parties with lots of other men.

Carpe Diem!

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